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Thoughts of a Mom Stranded by Hurricane Sandy

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By now, everyone in the U.S. has this image etched into their memory.

NASA handout image of Hurricane Sandy

It’s the perfect storm on steroids…the horrific Hurricane Sandy.

Because of this “Frankenstorm,” I am stuck in St. Louis. Kyle and the kids are home on the North Shore of Boston, waiting to feel the full force of storm later tonight and tomorrow morning. I am feeling helpless and anxious and increasingly like I might have a nervous breakdown. I’ve never had one of those before…are “helpless” and “anxious” key onset indicators?

This is not one of those well planned blog posts that I usually try to give you that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. This is just me venting, for sanity’s sake. To give you an idea of where I am coming from, here is a quick recap of my last few months (which have been challenging, to say the least):

-Late July: My brother and sister and their spouses, whom I rarely get to see, came to visit my family in Boston for a week. I had looked forward to their visit and all the fun we would have for months. Then the day they arrived I got terribly sick. I didn’t get to enjoy our time together at all and even spent an entire day in the hospital while they were here. It sucked.

-August: Kyle’s grandpa died. While he was out of town at the funeral, someone broke into our house in the middle of the night. It was terrifying.

-Early October: I broke my foot while cheering for the Cardinals’ amazing game 7 comeback in the Division Playoffs. Now I can’t run for three months. Then they didn’t even make it to the World Series. Talk about depressing!

And that brings us to today. Last Thursday evening, I flew into St. Louis (my hometown) to go to my sister’s baby shower. I am super sad that I won’t be here for her son’s birth in a few weeks because I live so far away. For the record, she is the only person who was in the room with me when I delivered both of my children (because they are from two different marriages). So it was wonderful to be able to at least spend one more weekend to help her prepare for becoming a mom herself. Besides the shower, we worked on getting the nursery ready and did some more baby shopping. Plus, I got to see quite a few of my other favorite people while I was in town…Rachael, Shannon, Nancy, Deena, Jessica, Jackie, Kathy, Rachel, Mindy, Jodi…you all know who you are. I am so blessed to have so many incredible women in my life! The woman I wasn’t planning to encounter on this trip was SANDY.

I was supposed to fly home Sunday evening, but that flight got cancelled for reasons I don’t quite understand. It didn’t seem like much was really happening in the Boston area yet. I re-booked for Tuesday morning, but that flight is getting cancelled too. Now I am scheduled to fly back on Wednesday…Halloween…and from the storm trackers I am seeing, it’s not looking good. If I can’t make it home by then, my kids are going to be devastated. Anna is still scarred from the time a tornado hit the airport in St. Louis, delaying her return flight for several days and forcing her to miss Easter at home. And let’s be honest…I’ll be devastated too. No mom ever wants to miss a holiday with her kids. We spent so much time picking out their adorable costumes. We haven’t gotten to carve our perfect pumpkins yet. And this is the only Halloween when they will be four and seven years old and I don’t want to miss it!! (Insert wail here.)

Sorry.

I’m sure this probably seems like petty complaining compared to what so many families are going through with the storm right now. Believe me, I understand that there is going to be some serious damage in Sandy’s wake. But quite frankly, I still don’t know if that will include my home or affect my family – so there may be more at stake for me than just missing Halloween. There is currently a tornado watch for Monday evening on the North Shore of Massachusetts. Our house is only about two miles from the coast. I am scared. I am praying. I just wish I could be there to hold my babies, even if I couldn’t do a thing more to keep them safe. I hate this terrible helpless feeling. I hate the uncertainty of not knowing when I will be able to get home again. Hate, hate, hate!

In the meantime, I am trying to work from St. Louis. I don’t have the right equipment with me and my brain isn’t exactly operating at top capacity, but I’m trying. I’m also trying to figure out why in the world it seems like it has been one catastrophe after another with me lately. Why can’t anything ever just seem to go smoothly? What have I done to deserve this? As a Christian, I know I should just smile and say that God is in control and everything will work out fine. And I’m sure it will. But the part of my brain that just wants to scream and panic seems to be winning out at the moment. Ugh. I feel like an utter failure in the “faith” department!

If you are wanting the latest Sandy information without having to watch the wall-to-wall TV coverage (I can’t take it anymore), here are a couple of good links with concise written updates:

Hurricane Sandy updates – CNN

Hurricane Sandy updates – CBS

If you’re on Twitter, you can follow the #Sandy hashtag too.

I know many of the people reading this are already praying for the safety of everyone in the path of this storm. If you don’t mind, please specifically pray for protection for Kyle and the kids in Boston, and for my in-laws in New Jersey. And selfishly, I ask for prayers that I can get home safely as soon as possible. If you want to share any scriptures of encouragement, I would welcome those as well. My faith could certainly use some reinforcement right now.

If you are with your kids tonight, hug them closely. Never forget what a precious gift it is to be together. And please be safe.


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